Margotlog: Sitting on the Porch with Cats, or Maybe a Dog

Margotlog: Sitting on the Porch with Cats, or Maybe a Dog

     No matter how depressed I get, summer season only, there's an instant remedy--lifting one of our two (out of three) cats who'll tolerate a sit on the back deck, and carrying her (they're all hers) out with me. The deck itself stands rather high off the ground. The bench at the back of the deck (there's no roof or awning except the towering silver maple) at this time of year is wreathed with flowers--red hot pokers, purple pansies, yellow and gold marigolds, petunias (always some of the only kind that smell--midnight blue) and various spiky white and pink things whose names I forget the minute they're potted.

     With Julia, the black and white, lying at my side, my hand stroking her from ears to rump and flicking off the gathered fur, I stare into the deep backyard, trying to make out what birds are on the mid-way "fountain" feeder, meaning arms that rise up like fountaining water, and carry with them various kinds of bird feeders. The two types of familiar woodpeckers--downy and hairy--push themselves up and down the center pole--don't ask me why--then flit to the suet and fruit cakes. Chickadees with their chick-a-dee-dee, undulate from the dying apple tree--kept especially for their staging area--snatch a seed from the round "just for them" feeder, and undulate back. Arguing finches--gold and purple--land in groups on the sunflower feeders.

     Yesterday, Julia and I (she's named an honorary bird watcher) followed an intensely yellow goldfinch fly in, grab a seed, fly back to the apple branch where it met its wing-fluttering, whining offspring, who did not let the parent out of its sight. If the golden glow of the parent sped to the feeder and did not return within a minute, the gray-brown child followed, perching on the top knot of the feeder, doing its wing-flutter beg.

     Are these creatures my real family? Or is their ability to charm and delight a factor of how little I resemble them, but how much I love them? Probably the second. How I came to the cat thing is not a surprise. When I was in first grade, I "rescued" a meowing baby tabby cat as I walked to school. Carried him to my teacher who had the sense to call my mother rather than insist I release the varmint outside. And my mother had the sense to walk herself and my smaller sister the seven long blocks on foot from the Old Citadel in Charleston, S.C., where we lived, to the three or four houses that the lower school of Ashley Hall used for early grades. This kitten grew into a cat, but didn't live long, as I dimly remember. Still he was my cat, my first rescue.

     These days with "rescue" animals all around us, we are familiar with the obvious human (or maybe American) need to do right by wounded, lost, defeated, abandoned animals (usually domestic). But in the 50s when I was in school, such an idea did not exist. We might take in a vagrant cat or dog and make it our pet, but we did so as individuals. We could not join a group dedicated to such activities, as has my neighbor, a single woman with a house of her own, who has left corporate America to write for a rescue organization. Now she works at home with her two rescue dogs and various puppies she fosters toward new owners.

     Yet my mother, who was far from sentimental except about Italian tenors (she married one), seemed to grasp my need for that cat I rescued. But she never fed the birds, though she appreciated the cardinals who sang in her Charleston back yard, the fifteen years she sat every evening with her "Chummie," a low-to-the-ground mutt, with crinkly fur and an entirely friendly manner. The fifteen years she lived alone after my father died. I do not live alone, but I need to foster, feed, watch, enjoy the birds I can draw to my yard, and we humans in our house love our three cats, even the ever timid Tilly who would fight any attempt to take her outside for a sit on the back porch.

Margotlog: Summer Bliss and Summer Blah!

Margotlog: Summer Bliss and Summer Blah!

Here in fly-over land we've had a beautiful spate of clear, sunshiny days, low humidity, fresh breezes. The last few days especially, the sky has looked like a clear polished gem winding us around a god's finger. Monarchs arrived earlier than I've seen in years, flitting among the huge stand of milkweed populating our patch of boulevard. For a brief moment, I imagined the world was saved. Farms worldwide had outlawed neoniconicides, and soon all would be well with bees, butterflies, not to mention those of us on two legs who depend on water sources and soil and air.That fantasy dissipated as I walked down the block and found two car/trucks idling their engines as the occupants stood outside and gabbed. Where were the environment police?

Out back, high clouds of green have taken over the sky. I dream up into them, remembering "green, how I love you, Green" (Neruda) while beside me Julia hums her own purr of pleasure. From the bird feeders we catch chickadees' deep-in-the-throat gurgle, and gold and rosy finch chatter, and the squawks of many many woodpeckers stabbing at suet. Truly I've seen more downy and hairy woodpeckers than ever before at our summer feeders, while the dozens of finches pile onto the open-work sunflower cage like starving immigrants just off the boat.

I've been listening for birds that hide in the shrubbery--cat birds and wrens. They're back, just not where they were last year, but within range of my feet. Once I saw four wrens slice across a nearby alley and into a bush, chattering up a storm. They're so sassy, these little mites, but also hard to pin down, with nothing of a robin's sedate saunter from yard to yard.

No one has died, no one was struck by lighting, no one ran out of gas on the freeway. The daughter, for her birthday, is going to Sicily in October, on her mother's dime, and I, the mother, could not be happier. At first she and I talked about going together, but when I saw her excitement, meeting her friends in Western Massachusetts, I knew instantly who her companions should be. "It's a trip of a lifetime," she just wrote me from Minneapolis. Well, maybe not of a lifetime, but of this moment. She works so hard, and she's such a good "mom" to two dogs and two cats, not to mention such a good daughter to divorced parents. It's time to get away, so far away that until a few months ago she had never hear of the town where her tour will be based--Taromina, on the west coast of Sicily, above sun-bright sea with a real volcano rising in the distance--Mt. Etna.

But not all sudden visitations are so happy. Four days ago I woke with such agony in my eyes I felt sure they'd split open. The "layers of my cornea had come unstuck." This has happened before, enough times that every night, I apply eye ointment and every morning use artificial tears to help the lids open without dislodging the fragile layers with their bursts of pain. But this pain was not a burst. It was an eruption--wave after wave. I walked around with my head down and begged the gods for mercy. Next day the eyes were red, lids swollen. Pink eye. Common disease of kindergarten. Had I shaken the hands of any kindergarteners?

The nurse at CVS Mini Clinic knew just what to order. Now three days later, hours pass and I'm only minimally aware of being somewhat challenged by light, or wind or  fatigue. Imagine a staple being suddenly driven into the eye, and you have the agony that was mine, but now has passed. I won't wish it on anyone. Except to wonder who wished it on me and spitefully plan ways to return the favor in spades once I find out.